Welcome!

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY “DEAR GODS WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE” SYSTEM.
THIS IS ONLY A TEST.
IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY,
I’D BE DRAGGING YOU INTO THE BATHROOM AND MAKING YOU WIPE THAT MESS OFF.

Hello there 🙂 I’m Wendy, better known to most as the dancing otter. For those of you new to my program please be advised that my native languages are sarcasm and innuendo. I do also speak English to assist those who don’t understand the other two.

Please make yourself comfy, grab some wine and cheese, and I hope you enjoy, learn something, or at the very least get a giggle out of our time here together.

So why am I writing YET ANOTHER INTERNET MAKEUP BLOG? Dear gods, it isn’t because we need another one. I suppose it has more to do with where I’ve been, where I am, where I’m going, and the amazing women I meet along the way. Some of them have stated that they are interested in what I’m saying. For the sake of not repeating myself ad nauseam I decided HEY, why not write it down.

I’ll start with where I’ve been. I grew up in a house with a grandmother who was rather fond of makeup. I learned by example. When I was a teenager she started trucking me off to Barbizon every week. Now while I will admit as an adult that this was in fact HILARIOUS, at the time it was rather eye-opening and as I got older I realized that I had learned a handful of things TO do and a WHOLE SLEW of things to NEVER EVER do again. Oddly enough, some of the latter were far more pressing. In my late teens and early twenties I started working with community theater and performed as an extra in an independent movie or two. I spent most of my time juggling wardrobes, prepping wigs, purchasing makeup for the shows, as well as advising and often applying the makeup. Fast forward to my mid to late twenties when I started taking dance classes as a hobby. While I knew that dance would be great for my health and help alleviate many of the physical aches and pains that came with my compacted spine and my twice diagnosed fibromyalgia, what I didn’t realize is that the greatest thing I would get out of dancing was the incredible community of women, women I consider my friends and in many cases my sisters, who my life would be so much less vibrant without. Which brings me to where  I am now.

Every woman brings her tools to the tribe. That is the way of things. My knowing how to sew has been one valuable skill, surely. My ability and willingness to talk to absolutely anyone about absolutely anything was another. However as we progressed as a student troupe and began performing more often, sometimes outside in natural light, sometimes inside in artificial light, sometimes on stage with bright, glaring florescents mere feet above our heads, it occurred to me that many of my dancing sisters weren’t wearing proper, or in many cases any, makeup.

Now some of these ladies have AMAZING skin and don’t really need help in the day to day. What most gals who don’t wear or aren’t familiar with makeup don’t realize or understand is just what sort of effect the various lighting we are performing in can do to our faces from a distance. And if there’s a photographer there you can be assured they will take photos, and there is only so far you can push Photoshop when you didn’t think to line your eyes before you walked out on to the stage.

My goal here is to share my experiences, past, present, and future, to help a sister out. And that’s where we’re going 🙂

One last thing to mention here is that, while solidly and comfortably middle class, I am by no means independently wealthy. Sure, I could totally go out and spend $50+ on a tube of lipstick. And that would be STUPID. I could buy two, or more, for that price, and get the same quality with change left to grab a chai on the way out of the mall. For serious. So for the sake of sanity and not going bankrupt I hope to offer practical advice that won’t leave holes burned through your wallets.

As I’ve been making notes in preparation for this, I’m going to grab a drink, get comfy, and start typing.

I hope you enjoy!

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